Not to humblebrag, but at the precocious age of five, Andrew won a Nobel Prize in Physics for his contentious, iconoclastic, irreverent lampoon of the Standard Model published in Science, entitled A Contentious, Iconoclastic, Irreverent Lampoon of the Standard Model.

As a bookend to this modest prize, Andrew won a second Nobel, this time in literature, for his faux epistolary fin-de-siecle Viennese send-up of the Freudian super-ego novel (all rights reserved), entitled A Faux Epistolary Fin-de-Siecle Viennese Send-up of the Freudian Super-ego Novel (All Rights Reserved).

As you can see from this multi-colored palette, Andrew is gifted with synesthesia for all his senses; his favorite activity after a hard day of being exceptional is downing a steaming bowl of spicy chartreuse.

Sports? Mais, oui! After dominating the pro tennis circuit for a decade, Andrew did tours with the Denver Nuggets, Cleveland Browns, and New York Philharmonic, because obviously music too, capisce?

For more, see Andrew's autobiography, available at Amazon for $379.99, available by overnight FedEx for an extra $600 and shipped in its own 40' cargo container.

Come on into the labs, and see what's on the slabs!